AILSA CHANG, HOST:
Every year, we run a series introducing you to first-time Grammy nominees, and we were right in the middle of reporting that series when the terrible fires broke out in the Pacific Palisades and Altadena. Those fires have disrupted the lives of thousands of Angelenos, including hundreds who work in the music industry, destroying their homes, studios, gear, entire livelihoods. So for this last day of this year's Grammys series, we wanted to pull away from the Grammys themselves and tell you the story of one artist who lost everything. It's just a glimpse into this painful time for so many of our city's musicians - so many singers, composers, producers and engineers.
(SOUNDBITE OF FAT TONY SONG, "COOL WHIP")
CHANG: On a recent afternoon at NPR West, I got to sit down with rapper Tony Obi, who performs as Fat Tony.
(SOUNDBITE OF SONG, "COOL WHIP")
TONY OBI: (Rapping) Beautiful, ain't it? Doing me, getting money, creating. If you can do you for the rest of your life and get paid, then you made it.
CHANG: Tony evacuated the night of the Eaton fire with just a few changes of clothes and a laptop. And last Friday, he returned for the first time since the fires, to find a pile of rubble where his home once stood.
OBI: And I was thinking that I'd go in there, and maybe I'd rummage through and find some stuff. Like, there's nothing, and the only thing left standing is the fireplace, which I loved. You know, I had a lot of wonderful moments at that fireplace over the holidays, and I'm grateful for that, truly grateful for that.
CHANG: What was special to you about Altadena, about that particular neighborhood?
OBI: I loved that it's a historic Black neighborhood, much like where I'm from - Third Ward, Houston, Texas. I love that it's a diverse neighborhood. I love that there were all these great small businesses popping up. You know, a lot of people are talking about rebuilding, moving back there one day. For me right now, I truly feel like my Altadena dream is dead. I feel like it's time for me to come up with a new dream with, like, a new, perfect neighborhood, perfect life for me. Altadena was where I had my full heart and soul and my hopes and my dreams placed. It's going to take some time until I feel that way again about a neighborhood.
CHANG: Can I talk more about that? - because it's hurting my heart to hear you say that you want to just start over and have a totally new dream begin because there was so much that you did love in Altadena that is worth maybe hanging on to. I mean, you had more than a dozen albums at the point that the fires arrived. All your equipment, all your merch, all your records - I get it - all of that had been lost, but has there been any part of you that feels like just walking away completely from music?
OBI: I mean, honestly, that was my first thought when I had the fire. You know, I was truly thinking, like, there is no way I want to go back and buy all this music equipment that I've been storing and gathering for at least 20 years now - you know what I mean? - since I was a teenager. But recently, some friends have been reaching out and sending me music gear. DJ Sun from Houston is sending me gear. Toro y Moi sent me some gear. I pulled it out the box, hooked it up to my laptop and started messing around, making a beat.
(SOUNDBITE OF MUSIC)
OBI: Doing that, actually being in, like, practice of music, made me feel like, oh, it's not that crazy. I can slowly see myself doing music again, making music again because music, for me, you know - it has been my full-time career at times. It's been my hobby at times. It's been my passion at times.
CHANG: But it's always been there.
OBI: It's been my only outlet at times. But, yeah, it's always been there.
CHANG: I love that when you were doing a beat again - that you were starting to come back to life. It's like your heartbeat...
OBI: Totally.
CHANG: ...Came back.
OBI: Totally.
(SOUNDBITE OF MUSIC)
CHANG: And I hope you continue to preserve space for creativity, like you're doing a little bit now, I mean, while you're getting order back into your life and buying new shoes and buying the underwear and getting your new house set up - but just, like, saving a little space to think about music...
OBI: Totally. Totally.
CHANG: ...You know?
OBI: I'm right there with you, and I appreciate you pushing me to do that. I will say this, though. There's another overwhelming feeling that I'm getting from all this. There is a bit of gratitude in this because I do feel like when you lose something - when, like, an opportunity ends or a living space is no longer your home or whether there's a fire or there's even a death or whatever it may be - it's kind of opening space up for new things to enter your life...
CHANG: Yeah.
OBI: ...Even if that feels daunting or feels painful or feels like something you want to run from. I'm feeling that too in this moment, especially now that I have a new home that I'm moving into. I miss all my stuff, but on one hand, I'm grateful to have a clean slate where I can...
CHANG: There is possibility for renewal...
OBI: Totally.
CHANG: ...After destruction. It's kind of amazing listening to you voice hope. And I also know that even though you've been hurting so deeply after these fires, you're already helping other people right now. I mean, you're booked to perform at several benefits...
OBI: Yeah.
CHANG: ...For fire victims in the next week. How do you manage all of that in your head and your heart? - because I'm just marveling at the reservoir of generosity that's still left in you.
OBI: Well, I feel super-grateful for all the support that I've received. Like, I was overwhelmed by the amount of people that reached out to me in the first couple weeks of this. Like, this is just a horrible situation. There's no way around it. It is devastating, but that's not the main thing that plays in my mind. The main thing that plays in my mind is gratitude. I am alive. I am safe. I have FEMA. I have a GoFundMe that did well. I have opportunities to rebuild my life. And I think that I'm lucky to be a somewhat public person, to be an artist. I'm more visible than many other people. And many of those people are in Altadena or they're affected by the Eaton fire, and I want to put a spotlight on them. So when people are giving me an opportunity where I can raise money or raise awareness for these others alongside me, I'm jumping at it. You know what I mean?
CHANG: Yeah.
OBI: Now that I have a new home, now that I'm a little more settled, I'm ready to get right back to helping others. Absolutely.
(SOUNDBITE OF SONG, "SPECTACULAR")
OBI: (Rapping) I'm hooked in. All my life been grinding, but it's all about the timing. When it's right, you shining. Keep pushing till you find it.
CHANG: Well, I just want to say, Tony, I am so moved listening to you hold on to compassion, to gratitude and to hope right now. It really has been very touching to talk to you today.
OBI: Thank you so much.
CHANG: Tony Obi performs as Fat Tony, and he lost his Altadena home in the Eaton fire. Thank you so much for coming into NPR West today and sharing your story with all of us.
OBI: Absolutely. Much love to y'all.
(SOUNDBITE OF SONG, "SPECTACULAR")
OBI: (Rapping) Ain't none of ya, none of ya, ain't none of ya tight like this. I don't know why I'm like this. Ain't none of ya tight like this. Ain't none of ya, none of ya, ain't none of ya live like this. Ain't none of ya, none of ya, ain't none of ya, none of ya. Transcript provided by NPR, Copyright NPR.
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